The Unauthorized Story
by Syron13
Summary: This is not a happy fanfic. If you wish to read a happy fanfic then my a suggest one about a happy little elf. This is still time to turn back. HP & A Series of Unfortunat Events crossover
1. Default Chapter

(A/N: Alright this idea has been wondering around in my head for a while and it just had to get out. My other stories may suffer a little but I think it will be worth it. I think I am turning into the queen of unusual crossovers or something. Oh well its fun. This might start out a little strange for some people, just bare with it.

I don't own anything I am about to use or talk about except the slightly odd plot. None of the main characters are mine. Nothing that sounds familiar is mine. I am just taking what already exists and meshing it up really good.

This is a mesh of "A Series of Unfortunate Events" mostly the movie with a little book thrown in and "Harry Potter" movie or up through the Order of the Phoenix or 5th book. It will be starting the summer after the 5th book of HP. The following chapter will start out very much like the Sears of Events books but… well just read and find out.


	2. CHAPTER ONE

**The Unauthorized Story **

**Warning**: I'm sorry to say that the fanfic you have opened on your computer is extremely unpleasant. It tells an unhappy tale about three very unlucky children. Even though they are charming and clever, the Baudelaire siblings lead lives filled with misery and woe. One might say they are magnets for misfortune.

In this short story alone, the three youngsters encounter a greedy and repulsive villain, a plot to steal their fortune, bizarre happenings, and quarter pieces of grapefruit for breakfast.

It is my sad duty to write down these unpleasant tales, but there is nothing stopping you from closing this fanfic at once and reading something happy, if you prefer that sort of thing.

CHAPTER

**ONE**

If you are interested in stories with happy endings, you would be better off reading some other fanfic. In this story, not only is there no happy ending, there is no happy beginning and very few happy things in the middle. This is because not very many happy things happened in the lives of the three Baudelaire youngsters.

Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire were intelligent children, and they were charming, and resourceful, and had pleasant facial features, but they were extremely unlucky, and most everything that happened to them was rife with misfortune, misery, and despair. I'm sorry to tell you this, but that is how the story goes.

Their misfortune began one day on Briny Beach when Mr. Poe informed them that there had been a terrible fire. There house had been burnt down, their parents killed, and they were know the Baudelaire orphans. Mr. Poe, being in charge of the Baudelaire finances took the children to live with their closest living relative, as was instructed in their parents Will.

And that was how the children met Count Olaf, after all he only lived a few miles away, therefore he must be the closest. But Count Olaf cared only about the Baudelaire fortune and would go to any lengths to get it. His treachery was discovered in the end but not before the deaths of the relatives that the children went to live with, having been removed from Count Olafs care, or his attempt to marry Violet to reach the fortune. Unfortunately Olaf escaped the grasp of the authorities and disappeared.

Now the Mr. Poe must once again find a home for the Baudelaire's with there next closest living

"Hey who are you?"

"What are you doing?"

sounds of a struggle

"No! I must tell their story! The Baudel mhhh hmmm hhhmmm."

Thump

Hello, I am Syron13 and I will be taking over this story. That's right me, the little old fanfic author. Sorry to say that Snicket is a little…tied up at the moment. Being a fanfic writer I feel that it is MY duty to tell you this story of misery and woe, for while Snicket is the utmost authority on the Baudelaire Orphans, he is not an authority on one Harry James Potter.

I will of course be referencing all of Mr. Snicket's information on the Baudelaires' as I

know he wants nothing but the utmost accuracy in this tale. Well then let's begin……………..


	3. CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER

**TWO**

I _am_ very, very sorry to leave you hanging like that. No doubt you thought that I had abandoned you, starting this tale of misery and woe and leaving it uncompleted. Like when you are eating a chocolate chip cookie and go to get a glass of milk, only to find that the milk carton is there, but empty. Well this is not the case as I have no milk or chocolate chip cookies. The truth is in fact, much worse.

As I began this story I said that I would heed all of Mr. Snicket's research so that it would be a story of the utmost truth and of the high standards that Snicket prides him self for reporting. However what he has failed to tell you in all this time is that he is a complete slob. 'Slob' in this case meaning, one lacking any organizational skills what so ever.

Upon realizing this of course it was my duty to organize all the information that he has gathered and file it according to a proper and clearly understood system. Having spent much time in libraries this, while appearing a daunting task, "daunting in this case meaning off-putting, discouraging, overwhelming, and completely disheartening" it was not so daunting at all.

I learned much about the Baudelaires' at this time, including their birthdays and favorite colors, but more than facts are needed to properly present this story. You may wonder what else could be needed. What was absent was Snicket's writing style itself, for as you may have noticed it is indeed very distinct.

Now you may have noticed when you are around a group of people with a distinct dialect, "dialect hear meaning how a person speaks" that after enough time your own dialect will begin to match theirs.

This is why family member have such similar speech patterns and gestures. The same thing can be applied to writing. If you read enough of any one author or style, you begin to incorporate that style into your own. The more you read the more those styles appear.

It is for this reason that I decided to read every book that Mr. Snicket has published concerning the Baudelaire children. As you may have already noticed my style has indeed changed from when I first 'acquired' this story, and as I continue to look over his works the style will continue to more closely resemble that of Mr. Snicket's.

"Cunk Cunk Cunk"

Oh. Speaking of Mr. Snicket it seams he has awakened. I could not have him in the way while I was straightening up of course so I had to place him in the storage closet. Don't worry he won't be getting loose any time soon.

His arms and legs are securely bound. 'Securely' in this case meaning tight enough to prevent movement and escape but not tight enough to cut off all blood supply and 'bound' referring not to jumping but being held together. I can also assure you he will not be making much noise.

As I am sure you are aware duct tape can have many uses, its main and original use being to tape air ducts together, hence its name. Over the year however duct tape has become a very useful tool whether it is being used to hold together ones car together, as a secret ingredient in soup, or to keep reclusive authors quiet. It is amazing what a small piece of duct tape over ones mouth can accomplish.


End file.
